Original Video - More videos at TinyPic

GOOD Morning Vietnam ! !

I'm the Only one in Love.

YesYes, i'm surprised i'm finally writing this too. so like in the past i have tried in so many different forms and fashions to really explain what my theories on "Love" is. i've always had like a tremendously difficult time doing that so i usually fail, and just end up rambling on and on only to further dig myself into a cave.
**lets be clear i'm talking about Romantic Love...i acknowledge there is like family/friend love.

What makes this post any different from the past failures?
-Most likely nothing, well besides the fact that i've been listening to Adele's "Melt my Heart to Stone" for a long time now, and that through my interpretation of that song (which i'm about to write) u can maybe like imply what my theory on love is; most of the people who know me know the rough and basic principles of my theory but i'm pretty sure just about NObody really understands it like in depth.

SO here goes to the douchebags... to the Assholes_every Jerk that i know =]

---When i first listened to this song i thought about a couple where the girl is the only one in the relationship, like she's madly in "love" with this boy,will do anything for him, she's blinded by his ignorant behavior and disregard for her emotions.He just doesn't feel the same way as she does. So how could she be in Love_ Period let alone the only one?

what is love?
what is love?
what is love?

i believe that if there is something called Love then its unconditional and it will be obvious like you'll know it when you see it_it will never go away. so how did she manage to fall in 'love' if the guy didn't ?
she fell in the love with the idea of what she believes Love is i suppose._

i'm over this interpretation...it's just irritating because it's not as poignant as i wanted it to be but i was younger when i was thinking of the song that way.

Recently...i've been thinking about "I'm the Only ONE in Love" as in she's the only one NOT in Love. This is me, Sua, yours truly. like since everyone's going to have slightly different definitions of what Love is, its reasonable for me to say that i think Love is the idea or illusion that somebody cares really strongly about you, makes you feel good and wanted so you convince yourself that Yes! this is what Love is, even these butterflies seal the deal. but how come marriages fail? how come the butterflies fade away after the first month or so? i think because after a while u get comfortable with the idea that someone has finally "accepted you". Love is only an idea just like happiness, so i guess it is what ever u think it is and since my idea is that the Love (the idea)only temporarily exists...essentially it doesn't really exist then. ugh_
I'm fascinated with why i'm so interested in the idea of Love though, and have been for a very long time. "For someone who doesn't believe in Love, you sure talk about Love a lot"-Quinton Gregory...and he's right. i really can't xplain why this is. maybe because i've never been inlove? maybe because i'm tired of seeing SO many failing marriages and relationships? maybe because of the differences between what we see on TV and our real lives? i'm not sure, and i wouldn't say that i'm like anti-love, because if it really DOES exist i'll be willing to accept it and admit i was wrong. i feel like we're constantly looking for acceptance as people, so Love is just a bisubject of just feeling like atleast ONE person out there accepts or wants you. idk___

this is NOT what i wanted this post to look like of course lol, better luck next time i suppose =]

AstoldbySua_

RandomRandomRandom

*coughing* Heyyyy there, Sua hereee!

SO i woke up this morning and half of my leggings were like just off, and one of my socks were off and i rolled over and almost fell off my high ass bed, but luckily i didn't.
But once i got up i realized how FREAKING cold it was like, ridiculous right?
and mind you i get out of this gloriousss hot shower, only to be shivering naked when i get back in my room ugh. thats the only thing i dont like about the mornings, they're so cold and its still technically "summer".

Boy i miss summer, well not this summer or the weather, but just the season itself like its such a happy season, full of icecream and water. well i dont care about the water part because im sure a LOT more people drown in that water in the Summer than they do in any other season._Duh Sua.

so i had math this morning, and it was a breeze as usual. i really regret not trying my hardest on my placement exam because last night i was sketching out my plan for the next 3 years and it just seems like i dont have enough time to do everything i want to do. basically u need 120 credits to graduate, but with my [potential] Anthropology major requirements, Pre-med requirements and GENed requirements [stupid], its like i'll be slitting my wrist faithfully for the rest of my life like idk how imma squeeze this all in, but whatever i'm determined, im a soldier.

i knew it would be rough, but it would be a lot easier for me if i was A)Richer or B)Smarter. which i am niether lol. mannnnnn can you imagine how much easier life would be if we were just a little richer? like damn, we would never have to talk about money. our hopes and dreams wouldnt be so diluted and shaped by money. like as much as people deny it we ALL know if money wasn't an issue we would not want to be frikken research scientist couped up in a lab finding the cure for dog measles...i mean i want to be a pediatrician like a lot because i want to HELP kids_flat. but if i didn't have to worry about money all the fuckiing time i'd be a lot more motivated and optimistic about actually reaching that stage and taking all these damn classes. for me taking these classes just look like someone stealing money from me that i don't even, am not promised to have from the future. can u imagineeeee someone just taking money that u couldve had when ur like 26 smh depressing.

but anyways i have class at 11:20...it's 11:03 but i was determined to blog just because i feel like im getting closer and closer to that explosion i usually have like 3 or 4 no 6 times a year. like im really like a bottle i repress certain emotions and so the bottle tends to overfill sometimes unless i find some other defense mechanism to re-repress these emotions. lol in most cases i dont so i just EXPLODE most times with anger, few times with just sporadic thinking and anxiety. wait whats anxiety? im not anxious like i think about killing myself_if thats what it means...just anxious like idk how to explain it.

UHM, i love fridays here, they rlly are the best days.. i meet SO many diffferent people at different schools and just have a lot of fun. saturdays are WEAK though, ugh dont get me started. uhm OH ugh the boys here, [the few straight ones] are mad cocky like its disgusting. like WOAH 1) u go to AU...who TF has heard of AU? lol no but forreal, and 2)if i put u next to anybody else in the realworld u rlly wouldnt be like worth shit. like yeah. surprisingly it seems like a few of the basketball players here are humble and nice people. ha! Go figure! who wouldve thought?

11:07
so this didnt turn out to be as random as i thought, yes *score!* its just about my life as of now, minus my family home life-_- and minus like anything else outside of AU.
i guess i can talk about "friends" uhm..dotdot i love the ppl i love all in their own ways, i love even more the ppl who i dont have to talk to everyday to still like be actual friends with something to talk about. like omg i saw a hs friend the other day like someone i used to actually talk to like communication_hello but it was so akward..we had nothing to talk about lol. which brings me to a beautiful.. wait did i spell that right [Bruce almight...B e A U-tiful] okay yeah i did. uhm right a beautiful memory of this convo i had with laye about life after highschool and Jazz. lol uhmyeah he's right.

i've come to realize a lot of people who've told me things in the past about certain people, situations etc...are gradually becoming "right".


i love my Anthro class_you should know this.
11:11
and i reallllllllllllly gotta pee. i like taking the stairs but only on the way down, cuz going up to the 6th floor with a backpack is NO fun. omg whew! uhm i wanted to put this coolASS picture i found on this blog...ehh will i have time? i gotta dash like jimmy neutron haha u should see how fast im typing ayeeee lightning...

Ciaaaao!
for Nowwwww!

My Life as a Rubiks Cube.

I Know what i want, How do i get it?

I need to get all the red's the green, orange, blue, yellow and whites all to their separate sides in order to create that unity, that success.

I got the red side, this is the one and only side i have successfully figured out and i want to keep this side undisturbed; but now i need to figure out the rest of it; i just really don't want to have to pull apart the red, but i know'll have to.

I Know what i want, What do i need to get it?

Well, obviously i'm going to need to accept the fact that it's not just going to come to me. it's going to be a load of hard word and i'm going to go through a lot of changing, shifting and molding of this Rubiks cube to get it to what i want it to look like_i need it to look like.

I will need patience and time, things dont always have to be so sudden, over time it will mold into what it shall be and through all the frustrations of constantly reorganizing the cube, eventually it will be complete_I will be complete.

I Know what i want, Why do i want it?

I want it because it will be worth it. It will be so worth the long nights and silent moments of doubt i've gone through over persistently working to get each side to match.

I want it so that i can show all those who've doubted me that i am everything they said i couldn't be, if not more.

I want it so that i can give it to someone else. Someone else, with a scattered cube struggling to "make it work". I'll give it to them as a source of encouragement as to why its worth it to just keep going at it.

I Know what i want, Who will_can help me get it?

Nobody will help me to shape this cube, but i know Somebody will be with me all the while sitting on the couch or at the dinner table watching me tussle with it.

Nobody will ever understand why perfecting and completing this cube is so important to me, but i know Somebody will be willing to accept it and support me.

I Know what i want, Where will i get it ?

I will get it from the bottom of my heart, from the darkest pits and deepest sections of it. From that place that keeps me hungering_longing for it. From that place where logical_realistic reasoning does not quite exist.

I know what i want, my heart yearns for it everyday. I know what i want and from where i will eventually obtain it---physically, maybe i'm not too sure, but my heart is what will keep me pushing for it_ i know it exists.

I Know what i want, but When will i get it?

I'm not sure, and this is what will be the hardest part about it.
This cube never seems to be quite right, but the worse thing that can happen is that the colors are scattered all over again, but in that event i'll just start at it all over again.

Food for Thought.

I was first introduced to Yelawolf, at the Tavern in American University where there was a B.O.B concert and he opened along with a few others. I reallllly like him, he performed a wide variety of different types of music. from like really thoughtful and deep subjects to just like credibility in the hi-hop world. He's legit i like him uhm i like 'Pop the Trunk' especially the video...i'll probably post it on here one day or another. This is the I Wish Remix: enjoy=]

Hip-Hop, the things you do to Me.